We've always prided ourselves on the genuine connections and support that our platform facilitates. However, it's important to address a delicate issue that affects the quality of these connections.
While many of our members, like Kannikar and Mint and all the girls currently listed in the Hot & Trending Top 10, lead by example – showcasing independence and wise financial planning, we've observed a contrasting pattern with a few girls. Despite your generous support, a few seem caught in a cycle of never-ending emergencies, often tied to family obligations. This raises concerns about the sustainability of their approach to financial assistance.
Kannikar's dedication to self-reliance I find particularly commendable. I am so proud of her dedication. Despite needing new tires for her car, she hesitated to ask for help, preferring to wait and earn her way. She works very hard to improve her life as she maintains a full-time job during the week, a part-time job during weekends, and posts quality blogging here. Her hard work is a testament to her commitment to financial independence. You can see from her blogs how wisely she invests her money. She never asks for help although I wish she would sometime. Life in Thailand is hard even if working a full-time job. I had to insist she allow me to loan her money as she planned to keep driving on tires which were completely falling apart until she could earn the money herself to replace them.
Similarly, Mint's continual position in our Hot & Trending list speaks volumes of her approach of never asking for assistance and yet still able to perform well with her hard work and dedication at this site.
On the other hand, Joy might NOT be the best at money management, but at least uses the support she receives here for genuine medical related expenses (her car I consider a medical expense as she NEEDS it to get to her frequent medical appointments). It's a reminder that each case on our platform is unique and as such I hope more of you will contibute to help Joy out more. Joy isn't charged any fees here so every baht you send her goes to her. I actually end up sending her MORE money than she earns here as she tries hard here and needs help because of her medical expenses.
However, there are a few others with one emergency after another and who do not wisely use the funds given to them. Let’s take a moment to talk about them…
Here's My Guiding Advice:
Evaluate Requests: Not every emergency demands your intervention. Consider the frequency of requests and the person's track record in using funds responsibly. Is this the first time they’ve asked for help and will it be the last time? Or is this going to be a frequent thing for them? Also, what’s the requested funds for (I’ll talk more about this in a moment)?
Empowerment over Dependency: Support those who use your contributions to build a better future, not just to tide over the day's crisis. Do you see noticeable improvements in their lives with the money they are given? Or are the funds wasted or given away to helping their families?
Help those who put the effort in: Try to help those who are putting in the effort by posting regularly. Especially those who are posting a lot more than just the minimum of 2 pictures and those who are posting Section 3s as they are certainly trying to do all they can to earn money. If the girl isn’t posting regularly AND posting larger and more interesting sets then she’s not really trying to do everything she can do to EARN the money before resorting to asking you for help.
A Gentle Reminder: Remind them that while it's admirable to help family, it's crucial to balance this with self-investment. Those constantly bailing out their families without improving their own situation can't break the cycle of dependency. Encouraging members to invest in themselves first will enable them to improve their life’s so that they are better able to support their families more effectively in the long run. Asian girls often try to help family even if they can’t afford to do so. They need to learn to establish some limits and to say no. If they can’t afford to help family without asking YOU for help then they simply can’t afford to help their family! Their family is not your responsibility. Yet, if you do decide to help them with their families at least put a limit on it. However, unless you are dating them, I don’t think you should be concerned with helping their family. Are they at least willing to DATE you and consider you as their boyfriend or more? Or are you viewed as only an ATM?
Choice and Control: If you feel overwhelmed by requests, I can introduce features to customize your interaction preferences, like blocking girls or maybe just allowing you to add a message which appears in their chat which asks them NOT to bother you about money requests. First, I encourage you to just tell them NO and if they keep bothering you then let me know and I'll program something to help you.
In conclusion, your support is invaluable, and I hope all of you will open your hearts by sending many more Virtual Hearts on their interesting blog posts, but it's wise to direct hearts on interesting blogs and financial contributions to where it encourages growth and self-reliance. Let's continue to build a community where support is both given and received in the spirit of empowering each other.